The story you tell shapes the business you build and the life you live.
When we think of branding, we mention the logo, the colours, and the website. But before any of that, there is a story where everything else is built upon. Have you ever thought about if you are telling the right story?
I noticed this recently with a family-owned bakery. They have fifty years of heritage, and everyone in the community grow up eating the bread from that shop. It was supposed to be a place full of memory and warmth, but when I walked through the door and I saw the modern interiors and minimalist graphic design — nothing told me anything about their story. Although the owner had no intention of erasing the heritage and the role they played in the community, it was just that they thought they were doing the right thing by “modernizing” their branding.
The misalignment between the story they wanted to tell and the story they were telling was why they were losing customers. It breaks trust and creates confusion.
Now imagine this for that bakery: Old photos of the founders on the wall. The origin story written somewhere catches people’s attention to read it. A table at the community fair. This is the alignment between who they are and what they show.
And I recently realized that telling the wrong story of who we are isn’t just a business problem; it’s also a human one.
In my own life for example: I tell myself I’m someone who loves dancing, and that it brings me great joy, that it’s part of who I am. These are all true. But I wasn’t going to any dance classes, and I didn’t tell people I love dancing. From the outside I didn’t look like someone who loved dancing at all. I would once awhile thought of dancing and remembered the joy it brought me, but then I just never went dancing.
When I stopped living that story out loud, eventually I stopped living it at all. The story I told others had more power over my life than the story I told myself.
Carl Rogers wrote that we live toward the self-concept we hold, but I’d add that the self-concept others reflect back to us shapes us just as influential.
When my inner story and my outer story were in conflict — I felt frustrated, confused and couldn’t find my purpose. I felt stuck.
What I saw in brands, I also saw in myself.
There are really only three places you can be:
You know who you are, and you’re telling the same story to others.
You know who you are, but what you’re showing the world a different story.
You don’t know who you are (yet), so you’re telling someone else’s story.
Now what can we do? It’s the same for a brand or a person. It’s about getting honest with ourselves to see and accept the gap, and having the discipline to live the right story consistently. As Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
For the bakery, that means saying no to the “modern” design trends, and yes to the community fair booth and proudly telling their founding history. For me, it meant going to the dance classes.
What story are you telling others about yourself?
And more importantly: is it the right story?